Mizzero Kroff

  • (Warning: Contains mild gore and atrocious use of the third person)

    Nickname: Emkay

    Full Name: Mizzero Kroff

    Species: Pine Marten

    Age: 48

    Description: Mizzero Kroff is one point eight meters tall and weighs in at ninety kilograms. Mizzero Kroff has coarse black and brown fur, a beefy tail that drags on the ground, and short ears that stay folded close to Mizzero Kroff’s head, but pop up when Mizzero Kroff wants to listen to something. Mizzero Kroff also has a long row of notch-like scars running down Mizzero Kroff’s left arm, each one marking a kill. There is barely any fur left on Mizzero Kroff’s right arm, just rows and rows of innumerable notches of scar tissue.
    -Mizzero Kroff is notorious for wearing a homemade, full body fur coat everywhere Mizzero Kroff goes, as well as a matching ushanka (Russian fur hat), a pair of fur lined boots, and some leather gloves. This wouldn’t seem too notorious until you start to wonder where Mizzero Kroff gets the fur and leather.
    -Mizzero Kroff is a strong pine marten with a deep voice and hardy accent, but Mizzero Kroff has loyalty issues. Mizzero Kroff will do whatever Mizzero Kroff wants unless you can convince Mizzero Kroff to do otherwise. Mizzero Kroff only speaks of Mizzero Kroff in third person and in full title, if you hadn’t noticed. Also, Mizzero Kroff loves to read whenever possible, and always has a book on paw.

    Possessions: Mizzero Kroff owns an iron war hammer, a fur coat, an ushanka, some boots, a pair of leather gloves, some reading goggles, and a surprising amount of books. Do not touch Mizzero Kroff’s books. Touch Mizzero Kroff’s books and die… slowly.

    -Brute strength
    -A broad knowledge of trivial facts
    -Can sail a ship through iceberg infested waters
    -Can read (which is more than can be said for most vermin)

    -Liable to betray you without warning or reason, so hardly trustworthy
    -Suspected cannibal, so treated like a freak and rightly so
    -Enjoys being villainous
    -No tact

    Background: (For the sake of fluency, Mizzero Kroff has conceded to use puny pronouns in this section.)

    Mizzero Kroff comes from a clan of mercenaries and pirates in the far northern ocean, the Kroff clan, and has been raiding villages and drinking his enemies’ fluids since he was a babe. Raised as a barbarian Mizzero was taught that it was perfectly acceptable to kill someone if they had what he wanted. Only after joining a pirate crew that had been blown off course did he learn anything otherwise. He became the captain’s cabin-boy after killing three crew members at the captain’s command without blinking or breaking a sweat. After he skinned them and made a coat from their pelts his name almost instantly began to travel among the other pirate ships when they returned to the temperate waters near the Eastern coast. The captain flaunted the young, stony faced and laconic pine marten like a weapon, frequently using him as one, but also taught him to read and write. Teaching him to sail was unnecessary, since Mizzero was already quite adept at it from his childhood in the iceberg infested north.

    For a long time Mizzero served under the same captain, but then, one day as the crew was having dinner in the galley they heard a scream that was sharply cut off with a heavy crash that was very familiar to them by that time. Forgetting dinner they ran to the captain’s quarters and threw the door open. Within they found Mizzero calmly cleaning his war hammer, cradling a book, and they also found the captain, or, most of him. His body was crumpled beside a small chest full of well tended books, Mizzero’s fledgling personal library, with an unlit pipe in one paw and his skull and brains splattered all over the ground, walls, and Mizzero himself.

    Mizzero would only explain hours later, after claiming the captaincy for himself by right of conquest, that the captain had said he was looking for kindling to light his pipe with when Mizzero asked what he was doing rummaging in his chest. Already mortified by the scene before them, several vermin were reduced to tears after Mizzero forced them to watch him skin, gut, and cook to captain like a sea lion, then commenced to eat him. Thank your lucky stars I don’t go into too much detail with this one.

    The crew scared into submission, captain Mizzero Kroff began a bloody campaign that left many islands devoid of life and in flames; literally, whole islands on fire. Almost the entire pirate population up and down the East coast said Mizzero was insane, but there was one brigand that saw that in a positive light. At the height of his butchery and the heyday of his campaign, Mizzero was contacted by the self proclaimed lord of the sea, admiral Greld. Nowadays he works as a sort of secret weapon for the admiral, until Greld touches his library that is.

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