Black Sapphire (Closed, for now)
ooc- Okay, so I'm going to do something a little unconventional (I love that word, simply for its implications ).
I have found that the growth in the quality of threads is stagnant. We aren't getting much better. I think stock characters are to blame
Instead of using a chara that you already have in the Library, I want people to bring in a thoroughly-developed, well-thought-out character specifically for this thread and post it in here in front of your first post. (People hardly look up the profiles of characters anyway). Finally, the character needs to in some way change the story. They need to be involved in it in some huge way, just as though you were writing a novel. You wouldn't want a pointless character in there, would you?
It would also be cool if you could post your intentions for the character, to show what they will do so that not only can we plan accordingly, but so that new charas don't conflict and we can see why they are important.
But let's keep Mr. Nice-guy vermin to a minimum, please. Let's keep this true to the style of the books.
Here's the situation, then my chara:
There is a great Blue sapphire, etched with silver threads portraying strands of ivy wrapped all around. It was kept by an old ferret king, long-dead, who ruled Kotir, which was later taken over by the horde of the Thousand Eyes (Mossflower). After Martin killed Tsarmina and Kotir sank, Redwall was built over the spot and Kotir vanished.
The Sapphire is actually a map of sorts, showing the way to a great treasure guarded by a giant eel. (It stays because it gets so many visits from adventure-goers. Free meals…)
(This is a lose outline. Add in whatever you want. No need to ask questions first, so long as you follow what has already been established at the point you make your post. Feel free to add to the legends and the facts.)
(Also, no need to request joining in. If you request, you obviously didn't see this, so you obviously didn't read everything and I'll be hesitant to let you in. lol)
Full Name: Chaz Willowbrook
Species: River otter
Age: 13 (in human years)
Description: Solid dark brown, no defining features. Being young, however, he tends to walk around on all four paws. He has solid black, curious eyes. He is about half the size of a grown otter. He never, ever frowns.
Possessions: Just a satchel and random trinkets that he never keeps for long.
- Very, very fast (Vermin have a hard time getting paws on him, let alone hurting him)
- Photographic memory
- Good at sneaking
- Great at annoying people
- Fast talker. He can complete an entire thought in two seconds flat.
- Goes out like a light when his head hits a bedroll.
- Is always running off
- Always talking to himself
- Looks mad (As in, nuts... wonko... got an acorn loose...)
- Has no idea how to use a weapon. Heck, he's hardly seen any weapons. Occasionally, he'll get his paws on a dagger, but always trades it.
- Is almost impossible to understand when he's talking
- Drives people up a wall with ceaseless babble and an intolerance for sitting still.
- Never follows his conscience
I'll just get it over with sigh he lost his parents as a cub. I know. Tragic... so sue me.
Now, how he lost his parents is another matter entirely. An aquaintance asked them to hold onto a possession for him/her and then ran away. A few days later, they were killed and the item was taken.
Chaz was taken with it, to be sold as a slave. He was the complete mirror image of what he is now, docile and quiet as a mouse (Don't laugh. You get the idea).
He blamed the death of his parents on the Sapphire, and rightly he should. His parents died over a shiny stone. He never saw who killed them because they were robed in black.
After an escape, he lived on his own, first horrified by his memories, then changed by them. Unable to deal with what he had seen, he drew deep inside himself and tried to forget by pretending he was a different beast. He became everything he was not and did everything he shouldn't. Over time, as he grew older, he almost entirely forget what and who he was.
He lives by stealing from and trading with random beasts, making no discrimination between vermin and goodbeasts (Hey, they'd almost give him food to make him go away). He never stays with anybeast long.
The most interesting part of his character, however, is his friend. Rarely having anyone to talk to, he began to create imaginary friends and play with them (Tag's a favorite). After a time, only one remained. Zach. Whenever Chaz is offered a choice, Zach appears. Zach is who Chaz used to be, before life got to be too much. He appears when a mature or wise choice must be made. Zach makes whatever choice Chaz would have made all the years ago.
Chaz, however, mocks his comrade's choice, then chooses the path opposite of his brother's election. It isn't for fun and it isn't for spite. He does it because he wants to get as far away from his memories as possible, by deciding to be a new person.
Chaz is a psudo-maniac. He wants everyone to think he is crazy. He wants to forget himself and other people. Attachments are risks. Beasts always die. End of story. (No pun intended)
Why? Chaz is important because he lends to the eventual climax. I want his motive to clash with the motives of his compainions. He wants to see the Sapphire tossed from a seaside cliff, broken on the rocks below and forgotten. This could be dangerous if the Sapphire is being used as collateral to keep friends alive (hostage scenario). He ups the ante and provides an output for peril.
ooc- A final note: Chaz is not the main character in any way. That's up for… well, whatever. If you think you can hack it, take the reins.
Don't forget to post motives, BTW.
Bic- Chaz was having a really boring day. He has nothing to say. And there is nothing of value here to post.
Oh, I plan on editing this and posting up the story in Fan-fiction as it progresses. So make it good quality writing
Nickname: Tari, Treasure Hunter
Full Name: Tarivo Sorthen
Age: 19 seasons/years
Description: Moderate build. Light brown fur, bright blue eyes. Often wears a red tunic over a white shirt and white trousers.
Possessions: Carries around a long sword with a brown handle. Wears a black belt with a ration pack and canteen on the right side, and a red leather sword sheath on the left.
-Protector of his comrades and the innocent
-Decent with sword play
-High risk taker, when the stakes don't directly involve other beasts besides himself
-He may remain persistent, even after a venture becomes far too dangerous to continue
-Vermin may easily manipulate him by placing innocent beasts or his comrades in immediate danger
-Good swimmer, but deathly afraid of water (lol)
-Highly prideful, and will make excuses and lies to cover up his weak points
The ever "fearless" Tarivo Sorthen. A daring treasure-hunter born in a hut near the river in Mossflower. Finding himself bored to death of the quiet life, he left his home and family to travel and seek his own adventures. He had read a lot about pirates and other thrill seekers in books, and wanted nothing more but to be like them.
He spends most of his time chasing after rumors and tall tales he finds spread around the villages around Mossflower, and even little tidbits he's read at Redwall he thought worth investigating.
To this date, he hasn't actually found anything. People who've gotten to know him find him eccentric and laughable.
Why? His main motive is to seek out rare treasures, which could easily tie him into looking for the Sapphire, and keeping its well-being intact. The last he would ever do is turn a blind eye to conflicts such as hostage situations, regardless of whether it involves his comrades or innocent creatures. His weaknesses may directly influence their chosen paths. Otherwise, someone will have to pull him up a wall, or tie him up to a ship mast, which should be perfectly fine with everyone else.
OOC: Hope this is all right! Hm, I suppose we'll have to start off somehow XD Which I could completely do if you want me to, but see if you can't think of something first lol
ooc- Well, how would you like Traviro to be the main character? I think he fits the bill perfectly. In order to create later peril within the story, however, you might consider adding an attribute that makes him unstable in some way, the way all creatures are. A theme-bearing flaw, I mean. Prefferably, something that clashes massively with Chaz.
Ok, so if we want to follow a classic plot structure, he's perfect in that his life is in stasis, where good stories all start. So, now to create a Point-of-No-Return, aka "Inciting Incident," that drags him forcedly into the story. I have no idea what to do for that. I'll PM you.
OOC: Well I can't see why not ^^ I get what you mean, and I'll follow up with a response via PM
Frink last edited by
Species: Honey Badger
Age: 22 seasons
Description: Massive build. The entire upper portion of his body is creamy white, while the rest is a dark, dull black. Mouse's left ear is partially deformed.
Possessions: Mouse carries nothing except for a cheap ruby necklace around his neck.
- He can take a great deal of pain without faltering
- Incredibly strong
- Fears almost nothing
- Surprisingly fast for his size
- Susceptible to rage when things don't go his way
- Not very intelligent
- Terrified of long, spindly creatures
- Rather nearsighted
- Bad liar
- Very literal
Background: Mouse was born outside of Mossflower, in the midst of sweltering heat and dry brush. He never saw his mother or father, or knew them. But his older sister, Bumble, was always there for him, tending to his needs and protecting him from the elements and predators alike. When he was 12 seasons old, Bumble led him away from the scorching drylands, voyaging across the land to a strange forest. Mouse hadn't the slightest idea why they were here, or what they would find. But none of that would have mattered to Mouse because the next day he slipped down a steep hill, hitting his head on a patch of hard, sharp stones. His ear was torn in half, and he was unconscious for quite some time.. when he awoke, things were different. At least for Mouse. Life was.. slower. Thankfully, Bumble had been able to tend to him when he was out, taking him to a small cave to keep him safe and warm. A few days after they left the cave, Bumble kept talking about a rare and precious item which had been rumored to be stowed away somewhere in the place they were going. Mouse was afraid of this, because his relentless sister kept saying suhfire.. and fire, although essential to survival, was dangerous, whether it was a bonfire or a big fire or a suhfire. It went on like this for a week or so until one night Bumble disappeared. Mouse had no idea where she went or what happened to her, but at least he had a heading - the suhfire.
Reason - Mouse's main reason for finding the sapphire is to locate Bumble. He knows not what will happen once he gets there, but he knows that he must get to the sapphire or else he might never find his sister.
Thank you Frink! I'm in contact with Setherion via PM about how we're going to start this off. So patience is the key!
Frink last edited by
ooc- For now, it'll just be the three of us. We'll get you into the action asap, Frink
Kyr, do you want to introduce the baddies, or do you want me to?
Class at 6 PM XD In a bit of a hurry, so will ya do us the honors Seth? ^^
ooc- With pleasure XD
I don't think I'll be using Finch, so I'll steal the name and create someone new. It's such a cool name.
Ridgemark Village sat nestled in the bed of a valley cut into the mountainside, ringed with natural stone walls rising up on all sides. A single narrow walk bridged the river into the narrow passage into Ridgemark, an impassible barrier to hordes and the like.
It was a peaceful place, hidden from the outside dangers and alone, but full of content and kindly souls. It was the safe-haven for beasts of all shapes and sizes, all ages and temperaments.
Three travelers wrapped in brown habits made their may across the bridge and through the crowd, paws hidden in their sleeves and faces cowled. They bore walking staffs and satchels, but nothing else was visible or appeared out of the ordinary.
"You'll know when I know." The leader replied. He licked his lips. "Keep you eyes peeled. You know the sort of beast we're looking for."
A plump field mouse trundled towards them, pushing a cart full of potatoes. He was obviously having some trouble and, unable to see the uneven earth ahead of him, struck a rock. He cried out in dismay as the cart spilled it's load and. When the vegetables finished rolling, he kicked one in frustration.
The leader of the trio held up a paw, indicating that the others should stop. "Allow me, sir."
The mouse gratefully assisted the stranger in righting the cart, then in collecting the goods. The other two traveling beasts stood for a moment in hesitation and glanced at each other, then knelt by their leader and helped to locate the renegade harvest.
"Thank you sirs," The mouse sighed when it was done. "Here's for your troubles."
The mouse held out a potato for each of them, then dug out a small pawful of coins.
"No, we couldn't take money. T'was done out of charity." The first replied in a silky voice.
The mouse pressed the coins into the paw anyhow. "Then take it out of charity for me. It is a blessing to give."
The traveler bowed as the mouse left again with his burden.
One of the other two beasts stepped in front of his colleague. "What was all that about?" He growled. "A waste of time
The leader flipped a coin purse around merrily. "I'm no fools, my brothers. I'm not forgetting who, nor what I am." He tossed the pouch to the last, who fumbled to catch it. "Remember, no killing, maiming or noticeable thefts. We're here for one thing and one thing alone."
As they moved on, he brushed the dirt off the small vegetable and sank his fangs into it's flesh.
Full Name: Fitch Morrak
Age: About twenty-five seasons
Description: Blue-green eyes, white and brown fur. Tends to look as inconspicuous as possible, like a kindly traveler.
Possessions: A concealed dirk and a needle-like dagger he can use to pick locks. A walking staff and a couple of cloaks and habits he can use as general disguises. (Not a master of disguise, just trying to blend in)
- Quick thinker
- Inspiring Leader (Keeps his followers on his side by making them think he knows more than they do)
- Has way too much practice in contriving plots
- Good swimmer/climber
- Fair at swordplay
- Acter (He can be calm and kindly when need calls for it. He can set aside his verminly ways at will)
- Not a fantastic fighter with anything but swords
- Doesn't own a sword
- Terrible aim
- Although he can set aside his verminly ways, he is in love with evil. He likes the things it gets him. He may look kind enough, but he'll stab you in the back without hesitation if it will get him something
- Has people out looking for him. If he gets caught by northern vermin, they'll turn him over for bounty
Other random attributes:
- Very plain-looking
- Unwilling follower
- Subtle, but powerful pride
He is the last youth of a royal family. This family lost a grasp on their kingdom after Kotir fell and the High King died. Power over their remaining kingdom fell into the paws of a Rat Warlord.
Over the years, the Rat Kings grew worse and worse, not just evil, but mad and vile. Their kingdom started to fall apart. Finally, there came a civil war as the people seek to run the King off his throne.
He perpetuates the war for fun.
If the people can unite under the banner of another royal family, someone who can prove his claim to the throne, they are willing to accept him. The problem is, Finch needs proof.
He is seeking out the Blue Sapphire to lead him to Kotir's second horde of treasures. He knows what he needs to find there. However, he is unwilling to go after the Sapphire because, firstly, he and his crew are wanted on false charges (the maddened Rat King wants them dead) and the caves lay beyond the borders, inside his kingdom. Secondly, he isn't fond of the idea of getting eaten by an eel. He wants to find someone brave, good with a sword and willing to take the risk.
He and his two loayl comrades (intelligent and powerful creatures, aware of how they will eventually be rewarded), follow him places to find something willing to go through with it all.
He wants his people freed and safe. He is vermin, evil through and through, but even a vermin cannot stand to watch his kingdom fall to ruin.
Why? He is a villain, plain and simple. But, he will create reason enough for good and evil to unite for a short time in favor of freeing the vermin land from the Rat King's rule. It turns into an interesting dilemma for the climax.
He also will provide the main character, Tarivo, with something to do and give him very good reasons to do it.
ooc- How is this?
OOC: Well I'm really liking the flavor of this Finch character, and he's perfect for the purposes of the RP. ^^
After I've written up a well thought-out post, I'll remove this before posting so as to bump the topic. Has some class reading to get to XD
ooc- OK, cool
I'll start thinking up funny ways to get Chaz caught. I'll also try to find a way to get Frink into this somewhere.
OOC: All right Time for the epic intro!
BIC: Beneath early morning skies, Tarivo walked down a peaceful route in Ridgemark, where small cottages mildly dotted the stretch of the road. He barely managed to sleep a wink the night before. He stopped in front of one of them and approached the hardwood door. He raised a fist to it to knock, allowing himself a deep wishful breath before tapping it a few times. The door swung open, and he was greeted by an older mousemaid.
"It's Tarivo again… How is she?"
The mousemaid sighed and shook her head. "Her condition hasn't improved. The doctors can't do anything to help her. I feel so helpless! I don't know what to do," she responded in a distressed tone.
His heart sank as he listened to her words, even after having been told this several times before. "Is it fine if I check on her?"
The mousemaid blinked once and nodded. "Of course."
"May?" Tarivo entered her room where a young and pretty mousemaid lay on her sick bed. May immediately sat up, her beautiful amber eyes brightening up as he entered the room, briefly lifting Tarivo's worried heart.
"Tarivo!" she called excitedly before she was thrown into a terrible coughing episode.
The mouse ran to her side and patted her back, helplessly waiting for her to finish. "It pains me to see you like this, May. I promise I'll find a way to save you from this illness."
May looked up to him, her eyes filled with grief. She seemed to be thinking on something. "Tari... don't make promises you cannot keep," she said as she placed a paw on his and squeezed it lightly. "I appreciate your thoughts, Tari. However, I fear this will be the end of me." She turned away from him as she drew close to tears. "I'm sorry for being so weak," she nearly choked.
Tarivo shook his head in disbelief as he lightly embraced her. "No, May. Don't think like that. There has to be a way to fix this, I just know there is! You're going to survive this, I will make sure of it! And then..."
"Stop..." May muttered as she pushed him away. "Be honest, Tari. You're taking all this effort to pursue something hopeless. Have you never considered preparing for the worst?"
Tari gave her a pained look as he was pushed off. "What do you mean, "worst"? That... Of course I haven't, because that's not going to happen!"
"Stop lying to yourself!" May nearly bellowed as she glared at him. "Tell me, when was the last time you found any fabled 'treasure'?"
"...I found you, didn't I?" Tari responded quietly.
May searched his eyes for a moment, then decidedly shook her head. "No Tari, you never found anything. Finding a cure for me is no small feat, and it's not nearly within your area of expertise. How do expect find that!?"
Tarivo frowned and shook his head in bewilderment. "How... May, how could you even say something like this?"
May glanced at his black leather sheath, the sword's black hilt protruding from its end. "There's only one reason you carry that blade anymore. Vermin have been after you. They see you as an annoyance, and you have become their target. You may have protected us once, but every second that you exist here, you endanger the inhabitants of Ridgemark, including my family! You want to know how I could say this? I'll tell you why..." May clenched the covers with her claws as she slunk her head down, tear drops falling from her eyes onto the sheets. "Because I never loved you! You were nothing but a passing fancy in my eyes, and it just seemed convenient for me. Now do you see the truth!? Get out of Ridgemark! I never want to see your face again!" she yelled as she threw her pillow at him. Immediately afterwards, she was thrown into another series of harsh coughs.
The pillow harmlessly bounced off Tarivo's chest. He stared at her for a moment, his heart cringing in deep pain. He gritted his fangs and clenched his fists as he turned and left the room. He headed straight for the door when a middle-aged male mouse walked up to confront him.
"Tarivo... She's only trying to protect you. Don't take this the wrong way."
Tarivo stopped for a moment, not daring to look him in the eyes. He shook his head and opened the door, slamming it shut behind him. He strode out the middle of the road, then fell to his knees. He watched as his tears littered the ground. Was he being too unrealistic? Is it possible that everything she was saying was true?
Tarivo sighed miserably as he slowly paced through the crowd of the market place. His tired saddened eyes were half-open. A brawny otter walked by carrying two water buckets off a wooden stem over his shoulders. "Good morning, Tarivo! Hm, you seem awfully down."
The mouse smiled and shook his head, precariously waving him off as they passed by each other. "Morning Nilis. Ha, it's nothing really, I'm fine..."
He glanced around the marketplace as he tried to remember where the medicinal remedies and herbs were sold. Perhaps by the slightest chance they would recognize May's illness and possess something that could cure it. He ignored the passing glances and stares of unacquainted residents and merchants as they eyed his blade.
OOC: May Shalien serves as Tari's greatest motivator throughout the quest, both negatively and positively.
A few moments later, some passerby brushed roughly past Tarivo.
"My apologies, comrade." The creature tipped his head respectfully as he vanished into the crowd, flipping a coin purse idly in his paws.
A few instants later, somebeast shouted angrily from the opposite direction, pointing past Tarivo. "Stop him! Stop that beast! He stole my money!"
Tarivo stopped as the creature brushed passed him, briefly considering the rude gesture. His thoughts were interrupted when a squirrel pointed past him and shouted into the crowed.
"Stop him! Stop that beast! He stole my money!"
Tarivo turned towards the squirrel. "A thief? Worry not, he won't get very far." The mouse started bolting after the creature, ducking and weaving his way through the passing residents as he attempted to gain ground on the robber.
"Halt! That money does not belong to you!"
As the stranger disappeared into crowd again and again, with Tarivo chasing him, he kept the purse in view. He occasionally turned and flipped it around in the air, looking satisfied and occasionally winking at his pursuer.
Two creatures in habits stepped up from behind the squirrel shortly after Tarivo vanished.
The squirrel turned to them anxiously. "Now, no one's hurt ya' said?"
"No one's hurt." One replied pressing a coin into his hand. "We've suspected Tarivo of criminal acts for some time. This is a ploy to root him out."
The squirrel looked doubtful. "Well, he is rather disconcerting with that blade of his, but… he seems a nice sort to me."
"Do you know him well?"
The beast pointed northward, toward the mountain cliffs. "He lives near the lowland cottages. He watches over a small family, sort of friends of mine." Then he looked cautious. "Why?"
The other stared at him for a moment, measuring him up. "Keep it between your ears, friend." Then he bowed brusquely and moved off with his companion.
The stranger lead Tarivo on a twisted, confusing path through the town, routing around and back again, testing him, measuring him up. Finally Finch took him on his last journey, back towards his home. He was satisfied. And when Finch was satisfied with what he wanted, no villainous means remained unjustified by his lust.
Come to me, friend… Finch stared out from his hiding place, waiting for the object of his designs to return to his cottage. "Let's see what you're made of." He chortled.
ooc- Finch is hiding. He took just enough to time to tear his cottge apart. I go back and improve the quality of the post in a little bit, but for now just go ahead and post.
Tarivo danced through the crowd and the incoming obstacles as he followed after the creature with diligent persistence. He couldn't help but scowl as the creature seemed to be taunting him during the entire pursuit, giving him winks and precariously juggling the purse in plain view. He felt like he'd been caught up in some sickening little game for the beast's amusement, but there was no way he would go back on his word with the squirrel he perceived to be a victim of his target's selfish antics.
The robber finally led them out of the marketplace onto a lone dirt road passing through the fields. The chase had been a considerably demanding test of his stamina, and he helplessly watched as the beast drew considerable distance from him towards his own house along the dirt path. He frowned in bewilderment. How did this beast scoop out where he lived?
He made his way up to the house steps and leaned against the doorway, taking several well-needed deep breaths of air. As a matter of caution, he drew his sword before cautiously creaking the open the hardwood door. He peered inside, his eyes widening upon realizing his house had been completely trashed apart. He warily pushed in, the floor boards rattling beneath his foot paws as he ventured into the otherwise silent habitat. He kept his back against the walls, feeling that at any moment the robber could lunge out and attack him from his blind spots.
"You little miscreant…" he growled at the state of his home. "Come out, thief! It's time to return what you stole!" he called out as he searched behind corners and around the surrounding furniture and debris. He was especially wary of the darker areas of the home. He listened for any signs of movement as he looked. Where could this robber be hiding?
ooc- I figured that Tarivo had a house. lol. My mistake.
Bic- A Tarivo stood cautiously in the door, a shadow fell over him. Finch's two dark companions blocked the door, arms crossed, but habits pulled back to reveal identical sabers hanging at their belts.
"Are you lost, little mouse?" One asked. The other stood where he was, stoic and silent.
Then someone else spoke. "No need to patronize the beast, Rynthe." Finch sat in the window, leaning back in the sill as though he owned the place. He was swinging the pouch in one paw and his cowl was pulled back to hang around his shoulders.
A ferret. He swung off the sill, striding in a wide circle around Tarivo. "I hope you like how I rearranged your furniture. Of course, if you don't like it, I could always just rearranged your face." He jerked his head at the silent beast. "Pied, shut the door."
ooc- BTW, I started a notification thread on FB.
OOC: No worries, I have edited accordingly. Sweetness, still need to get back into Facebook.
BIC: Tarivo's eyes widened in surprise as a shadow other than his own appeared below him. He whirled about to the two cloaked figures standing at the door and hastily stumbled back.
"Are you lost, little mouse?" One asked. The other stood where he was, stoic and silent.
Tarivo shook his head and growled, raising his sword defensively. "I should be asking you the same thing. This is my home, not yours!"
"No need to patronize the beast, Rynthe." Finch sat in the window, leaning back in the sill as though he owned the place.
The startled mouse immediately looked back and noticed the ferret at the window. "The thief and his friends…?" he muttered under his breath.
He swung off the sill, striding in a wide circle around Tarivo. "I hope you like how I rearranged your furniture. Of course, if you don't like it, I could always just rearranged your face." He jerked his head at the silent beast. "Pied, shut the door."
Tarivo lowered his sword, his heart pounding as his eyes followed the ferret, turning his head when he swirled around to the other side. "You had no right to rip my home apart. I have not the patience to listen to your idle threats, ferret!"
He turned his attention back to the door as the silent figure named Pied closed off his main route of escape. They had him cornered, and surrounded.
As the ferret rounded in front of him, he minded the debris and jumped back so that the three were essentially in front of him and his back was facing towards the wall. He assumed battle stance, gritting his tiny fangs defiantly as he narrowed his eyes.
He shook his head as he pondered the apparent facts. "No… this is far too convenient. You three had this all planned from the start, didn't you? I have to say you pulled off quite the elaborate farce. Who are you vermin, and what could you possibly want from me?"