The marvellous adventures of a couple of schmucks



  • You rub your head as you fire the ARROW OF PDWTSEOTH at the rat, who takes 19.9999999999 damage
    As it is an ARROW OF PENULTIMATE DESTRUCTION, it does not kill the rat, leaving him on the ground in agony. You take his RAT HAT and go deeper into the basement. Only a few steps later, you are ambushed by three dastardly rats, all of them holding SHARP AND FANCY KNIVES and twirling their MUSTACHES OF EVIL. These are no ordinary rats. These are DASTARDLY SCHEMING RATS OF EVIL.
    NEW ABILITY-GHOST ARM: As long as you don't think about it, you have a third arm. Reading this has made you think about it, so tough luck.
    QUEST: TQWYHTSR (1/11)



  • I draw from my QUIVER OF MAGIC an ARROW OF INFINITE NUMBER OF FRIENDLY YET RABID BUNNIES while devoting all of my thoughts at marveling the sheer fanciness of the MUSTACHES OF EVIL.

    Zach



  • The DASTARDLY SCHEMING RATS OF EVIL twirl their MUSTACHES OF EVIL faster and faster, almost hypnotizing you. "HON HON HON," one says, "DROP ZE ARROH ORR WE VILL CUT YOO OHPEN!"
    You drop the ARROW OF INOFYRB to the ground, but your GHOST ARM draws an ANTI-MUSTACHE ARROW.
    Without warning, the arrow pierces the FRENCH DSROE's lip, disintegrating his wonderful curls.
    "MY WORD! THIS RAPSCALLION HAS SHAVED JEAN'S CURLS! ALRIGHTY THEN! LET'S SETTLE THIS LIKE GENTLEMEN!
    The ENGLISH and SPANISH DSROE charge, knives at the ready.
    You can grab the ARROW OF INOFYRB or pull a NEW ARROW.



  • I decide to draw a new arrow from my QUIVER OF MAGIC, a GENTLEMAN'S ARROW OF BRUTALLY SLOW RIDICULE WHICH WILL EITHER RESULT IN INSANITY OR DEATH BY BUNNIES, NOTWITHSTANDING THE AVAILABILITY OF CARROTS.

    Zach



  • The GENTLEMAN'S ARROW OF BSRWWERIIODBBNTAOC pierces the SPANISH DASTARDLY SCHEMING RAT, and a VERY POSH BUNNY bursts out from the wound, delivering a CRITICAL CRITICISM on the unposh clothes of the now-dead rat.



  • As an aside, may I add the VERY POSH BUNNY to my inventory?

    I conjure up another arrow, an ARROW OF DECEPTIVELY GINORMOUS BOULDERS WHICH ARE ALSO MAGNETIC AND (BECAUSE WHY NOT) EXPLODE FOR NO REASON JUST FOR ACCENT, and while thinking about the lovely disease-ridden cruise I took last year, I collect the fallen rat's RAT HAT.

    Zach



  • **RI'S INV:**VERY POSH BUNNY(1)
    You fire the ARROW OF DGBWAAMA(BWN)EFNRJFA at the last DASTARDLY SCHEMING RAT, and the arrow spawns two large boulders in front of and behind him. They suddenly come together, crushing him. Then they explode. The blast ignores you, but pierces the FRENCH DASTARDLY RAT's chest.
    "MON DIEUR,"he cries out, before collapsing onto the ground.
    You collect all three RAT HATS and begin to DANCE to your victory song.
    **QUEST:**TQWYHTSR (4/11)

    OOC: Pen, you may hop in



  • A new player joins the game!

    Name-
    Miraculous Happenstance
    Class-
    Giant moth
    Personality-
    Fluffy
    Description-
    A fluffy grey and brown moth the size of a large cat
    Possessions-
    A cape made from a child's blanket with a small pocket in the middle of his back

    The huge moth flutters down from the ceiling of the basement and lands on Righteous Indignation's head, folding its wing and feelers around him to make a DELIGHTFUL HEADPIECE.



  • Miraculous Happenstance has been given FAIRY WAND, BLANKET OF CHILDISH JOY and CROWN OF MOTH.
    FAIRY WAND- Magical stick to beat people's heads in (or heal)
    BLANKET OF CHILDISH JOY- Enchanted blanket with the power to create a temporary "energy" shield once per battle
    CROWN OF MOTH- Crown made of paper, feathers, and leaves. It boosts your magical abilities one-and-a-halffold



  • (OOC: I'm absolutely terrified of giant moths in actuality, but he seems fluffy enough, like my cat.  :P)

    I take the fact that Miraculous Happenstance has landed upon my head as a sign I will receive great fortunes (As in the Indignation clan, moths are regarded as our creators.) Thus, I conjure a BURNING ARROW OF SACRIFICIAL SACRIFICE TO THE GREAT MOTH GOD THAT SOMEHOW WILL ALSO INCLUDE A BUNNY, and mount my VERY POSH BUNNY upon the tip of the new arrow.

    Zach



  • Miraculous Happenstance flutters its feelers and spreads its wings wide, accepting the gifts from both on high and from its humble follower. It dons the cape and stows away the crown and wand. It sweeps a wing down over the bunny arrow and grants it the blessings of the great and terrible Moth Gods of old, accepting the sacrifice.



  • You SACRIFICE the unfortunate bunny, and as his posh corpse burns, the two of you feel great.
    Although it is doubtful that such MOTH GODS OF OLDeven exist, the two of you have earned a new ability
    NEW ABILITY- Moth Gods' Favor: for each enemy that you kill, you earn 1 Moth Charm. Burn any amount to get a temporary boost. The more burned, the greater the boost.



  • Another player appears!

    Name: The Batter

    Class: Epic Paladin

    Personality: Pure

    Description: A tall black fox that looks awesome.

    Possessions: A TRUSTY BAT and three STRANGE FLOATING RINGS.

    The Batter walks up to the two people and gives a NOBLE AND PURE GREETING.



  • I accept The Batter's NOBLE GREETING with a SELF-RIGHTEOUS GUFFAW and decides to proceed onwards to cleanse the basement of rats and pillage their RAT HATS with my new-found deity and fellow paladin.

    Zach



  • You enter the next room in the basement, the MAYBENONALCOHOLIC DRINK ROOM where four rats sit around, drinking. One, a LARGE AND BURLY TYPE, takes another swig of a dark drink before pointing at you three.
    "HAY! YOUSE THREE! GIT OUT ME RUM ROOM!" He gets up, BIG AXE in hand. The other three, FAST AND SNEAKY TYPES, pull out blunt objects from their TATTERED RAT HATS.
    WHAT DOOOOO!?!?!?

    _



  • Leading the now POSH PARTY into battle, I emit a WITTY CALL TO BATTLE from my POSH AND RIGHTEOUS VOICE-BOX. I conjure an ARROW OF ABSTRACT REASONING AND RESULTANT INSANITY, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS AN ARROW OF VAN GOGH while devoting my attention towards a RELATIVELY POSH AND FASHIONABLE THROW RUG THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE MADE OF THE FLOOR that the LARGE AND BURLY TYPE happens to be standing on, wondering if it will match my posh and righteous decor in my shabby condominium.

    (OOC: So much posh…)

    Zach



  • The Batter is disgusted that such impure beings could even exist down here. Thus, The Batter walks nobly up to one of the FAST AND SNEAKY RATS and purifies his face with the TRUSTY BAT. The Batter then decides to pillage the body for anything else that requires purifying.



  • Due to the ABSTRACT NATURE of the ARROW OF VAN GOGH, the LARGE AND BURLY RAT is now ABSTRACT AND ENRAGED. There is now a 50/50 chance that attacking him will hit. NICE JOB, HERO.
    One of the FAST AND SNEAKY RATS is slain, but as THE BATTER is LOOTING THE CORPSE, the other two FAST AND SNEAKY RATS strike from behind, dealing 6 damage.
    THE BATTER IS WOUNDED!


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